Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A recount of this day

Since the main purpose of the bowheads blog is to help me remember these times, I am going to relive this day on paper - well on laptop.

First part of the day - pretty normal. It can be described like this:

Domestic work, mothering, lunch packing, bus catching, talking a 5 year old into picture day clothes, spiking up 5 year old hair, driving through the center of town (if you live here you know what a beating that is right now and why each and every time that I did that today will be retold in this account of today's events), errands, driving through the center of town, tons and tons of laundry, exercise, cleaning, answer call from groomer asking where Frank the pug is, driving through the center of town with Frank, driving back home through the center of town, finding the floor of a 5 year old boys room, driving through the center of town to pick up 5 year old boy, driving back through the center of town, change out the laundry again, start looking for the kitchen counters (I am sure they are under there somewhere), welcome children home off the bus, drive back through the center of town to pick up Frank the pug, drive back home with a clean (and somewhat fluffy) Frank the pug through the center of town, get on the computer, find eye doctor because 10 year old this morning was 8 feet away from sister's softball bag and asks what the writing is on the bag. I say "Louisville Slugger". She says, "yeah I can't read that". I say, "awesome".

Anyway it is now 3:50 

Time to get kids ready for stuff. Lots and lots of stuff......

Put 5 year old and 7 year old in car to head to 7 year old's soccer practice (through the center of town). 

Head back home to pick up 10 year old doing homework (through the center of town) and gather things for 7 year old's softball game.

Head back to pick up 7 year old at soccer practice (through the center of town) and drop 10 year old off at soccer practice. Head to softball game located south of goodnessknowswhere and just east of Iamhopelesslylost (through the center of town of course). Make it to softball game late after running across ginormous field from parking lot. Sit in soccer chair for 5 minutes. 7 year old softball player (still wearing her soccer cleats and shin guards under her sweatpants by the way) suddenly has to pee. Start to run across ginormous field toward portapotty. Give up halfway across ginormous field and let 7 year old pee by bush because um that is a ginormous field. Run back halfway across ginormous field. Realize that the softball game is taking a looooooong time. 

Have you ever been to a Kindergarten through second grade girls instructional softball game? Let's just say speed of play is somewhere between slow as hell and going backwards. 

Anyway,  I realize that I need to leave softball game that is located south of goodnessknowswhere and just east of Iamhopelesslylost to go back (through the center of town) and pick up 10 year old soccer player.  Run somewhat wildly waving my arms shouting 10 year old's name towards a group of parents and kids hoping that 10 year old will start heading my way so that we can head back south of goodnessknowswhere and just east of Iamhopelesslylost to pick up 7 year old from softball game where incidentally we left aforementioned 7 year old under the watch of very sweet parents that I just met Monday. So anyway, I am running (again) and come to the group of parents and kids after soccer practice to find my 10 year old in tears because she could not find her glasses. (She practices in rec specs - glasses made for sports.) Find glasses, calm 10 year old down, wave sheepishly at group of soccer parents who are sort of smiling at me the way you smile at someone who is 42 weeks pregnant - you know like - you look like you could use some help but I have no clue what I can do for you? Off we jog to the car to - yes you guessed it - drive through the center of town to make it back to softball game. 

Husband calls. It is about 7:30. He has JUST left the office after a very busy day of meetings etc and heading to a work dinner. "Hey Babe - you guys home yet?" Ha - not even close. 

Anyway - crazy soccer mom in a mini van careening down the road toward softball game south of goodnessknowswhere and east of  Iamhopelesslylost. 

Run across ginormous field (I would have to describe this at this point as more of a painful jog but that is neither here nor there....) 

Am approached by Coach who pulls me aside to tell me that 7 year old had an accident and they changed her (on account of her being the only poor child at the game with no representative). I am absolutely flabbergasted. I mean aghast. Jaw on the grass of the ginormous field. Accident? Like peed her pants? But we just peed on that bush over there. Really? Seriously? Am I being punked? I am actually looking around the ginormous field for hidden cameras. Needless to say this has never happened to said 7 year old before. Fortunately she is totally unshaken by the incident and told me she had a good game and perhaps that she overdid it with the water and gatorade I packed in her softball bag. I wanted to say, 

"You think?"

Totally didn't though - I am that awesome of a mother.

Gather all of the children into the car feeling relief for surviving the day and reflecting on the countless good impressions I must have made on the people around me. Or not. Oh well. Grab dinner for the children on the way home from Wendy's. Now if you know me you also know that this is also something that rarely ever happens. I thought it was hysterical because my 5 year old son says, "Wendy's? Like the place with the hamburgers? Really?" ;) 

Get everyone home, fed, showered and down before 9:00. Feed pug, give veggies to guinea pigs, do a quick general pick up, take much needed shower, sit down to type out the days events send husband this text....

made it
love you
just took 2 benadryl
make sure I am still
breathing when you get
but try not to wake
me up