***Last night I went in to kiss him as he slept - the last night that a 7 year old would be asleep in my house. His brown little boy hand, tanned from the sun and scratched from his adventures was wrapped around Chubby the Bear. His chest rose and fell and his little face was so peaceful and my heart broke and grew all in the same moment. Birthdays kill me and the baby is the hardest.***
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 2:01 PM
Monday, July 14, 2014
I cannot believe that it has been ten years since this happened!
So I am a big believer in stories - I think that the only way that stories can really live on is if they are retold so each year on my children's birthdays - I like to tell their birth stories. It just so happens that today is such a day.
My Noodle was an easy pregnancy and I was very very excited that she was a girl and I was very very defensive about any "oh you didn't get your boy" cracks. She was meant to be and I knew it and I would not listen to a word edgewise.
We were getting closer and closer to her due date which was July 14th. I did teach until the end of the school year and then my oldest (then age 2) and I spent most of the day in our backyard pool. She was due on July 14th and she was looking like a good size baby so my good buddy Dr. (Insert OB's name here) said that we could induce on July 14th.
Mimi and Papa came over early to stay with my two year old and Husband and I got to the hospital nice and early. All seemed well, I had my epidural in and Husband and I were playing cards. Suddenly, I said, "hey I felt that" and then I said, "hey I REALLY felt that - ouch" and so on and so forth. We called the nurses, and called the doctor back in and the anesthesiologist.
The anesthesiologist normally worked in cardio and he sort of shrugged his shoulders (incidentally - never a good thing for a medical professional to do) and administered more medicine in my epidural. By now, I am in full labor and I am feeling EVERYTHING.
Finally, Husband finally has the presence of mind to lean me forward and look at my back and says, "ummm excuse me - her epidural fell out!" The last dose of medicine that he had given had just soaked my sheets and I had no epidural, was dilated to like a 7 I think and let me tell you - that hurt hurt hurt.
Now I know that some people are natural labor people - great - bully for you - I know myself and had planned on an epidural. Also what is interesting is that even after having a shaky epidural experience with my second - you betcha I had one with my third.:)
As a matter of fact, I have friends that can attest to the fact that in my childbirth class with first born - I nearly asphyxiated myself trying to do my breathing which lead me into my hysterical giggles that I get which then led to a little crying jag - all right in the middle of the class. Anyway - I digress - that is a story for her birth story.
The doctor comes back in and says that he wants to do another epidural - I am in a lot of pain at this point and say, "well sure". Man - sitting up in that bed holding on to Husband and the nurse (who buy the way was one of my Kindergarten students' Moms which was interesting) for dear life while he tried to put that thing back in was - well - tough.
So he gets it going, I lay back, Husband looks sort of haggard and two nurses are standing there chatting. I say to Husband, "Umm honey - I feel funny, I feel REALLY funny." He says, "don't tell me - I think we need to tell them"
Here is what happened next from my perspective, "heeeeeyyyy, looooook aaaattt thhhaaaattt evvverrryyoonnnneeee isssss mooovvvvinnnngg reeeeaaalllly faaaast buuuut I feeel reeealllly slooooowwww."
My blood pressure (which tends to run pretty low normally) dropped dramatically and suddenly this swat team of nurses comes in, pushes Husband out of the way and there are literally like 6 of them all standing around my bed. I remember the blond one at the end looking at me and even though I was feeling so weird I remember my eyes getting bigger and her asking me what was wrong. I think I said that all of them were freaking me out by being in there and asked what was the matter. They basically told me that I had trouble with my epidural and they were going to have to turn it off and get my blood pressure back up.
When that crisis was over and the swat team went on to their next mission, Husband and I were left looking at each other, like "what's next?"
Next thing I know - KK's mom ( the nurse whose name I can't remember now but I remember the little boy) comes in and says it is time to push. Well I push not for very long ( and remember - no epidural anymore so I can feel most of this) and she says, "ok - we have to stop and wait for Dr. Insert OB's name here.
I said, "oh no - I think you are doing great - let's just go ahead!!!" Well Dr. Insert OB's name here came in, said hello to Husband, says hello to the nurses, doing his doctor thing.
He grins at me, is putting some gloves on and goes to start putting his gowns and stuff on and looks down and says, "HEY!" He dropped what he was doing - looked at me and said something along the lines of the fact that they weren't kidding around - I really was ready - I think I pushed one or two more times and then - there she was.
8 pounds, 3 ounces 5:48 - little baby girl. I watched while they took her over to the little baby whatever and she stopped crying almost immediately. My first thought was uh oh and then I looked over and saw her little skinny arm reaching up for the lights. She was so quiet and they gave her to me and I don't think I let her go for a long time after that. She just looked at me like,
"Hi Mommy - I am here - ready to go."
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 5:32 AM
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
If you had told me a year ago that I would let 4 months go by on the Bowheads blog without a word from me I would have said...
No - not me - I will always have time to jot down my little stories.
If you had told me 15 years ago that I would be teaching third grade in a little town in Massachusetts I would have said...
No - not me - I am good with the babies. I will always teach Kindergarten and Massachusetts? Where is that?
If you had told me 12 years ago that the baby girl with the curls that I held in my arms would be as tall as I am by the time she was 12 and would be sitting in the front seat chatting with me about life I would have said
No - not then - that is way too fast. Not in 12 years
If you had told me 7 years ago when my sweet baby boy was born that I would be sitting around a campfire on a cool April day in a little New England town sitting under a blanket laughing until I cried because he was singing a song about a Red Solo Cup and had just finished an animated verse with "Freddie Mac kiss my A$$ - WHOO" I would have said....
Anyway I digress....
If you had told me 6 years ago that the 3 year old that I would spend hours sitting and literally watching her breathe would be so strong and healthy. If you had told me as I bathed her sores and pounded her back and held her hand as she did her nebulizer treatments that she would become quite literally one of the strongest and most independent people I know I would have said
No - that is my hope and dream but not this one. She is too frail. She is too sick.
If you had told me 18 years ago that I would still love my husband with my whole heart as much as I did from the very beginning I would have said
Yes - yes I know.
If you had told me 20 years ago that I would still talk to my Mom every single day I would have said
Yes - yes I know.
If you had told me 13 years ago the moment that I first found out that I was going to be a Mom that it was going to be the hardest best thing I ever did I would have said
Yes - yes I know and I can't wait.
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 6:37 PM
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
The Story of When We Almost Wrecked the Plane on New Years Day (or at least the flight attendants acted like we were going to...)
So we thought it was a really swell idea to save 500 bucks and fly back home on New Years Day at 8:00am. That meant that we were dragging sleeping children out of bed at 5. Yep - to answer your question it was pretty much as awesome as it sounds.
Anyhoo - we got to the airport, got some breakfast, got on board.
The flight flew by and before we knew it we were above Boston.
Start to descend.
Then start to ascend
at this point I was like
Because there are two kinds of people - puke and ralliers and non pukers. Well, my youngest daughter and I are puke and ralliers. We puke at the drop of a hat and we are especially prone to motion sickness. We can puke effortlessly and bounce back quickly but still - who likes to puke? Not me.
I must also preface this story with - this was not my first rodeo in terms of puking on a plane. Been there, done that so I pretty much knew we were in trouble before we were even in trouble.
So the story moves along (at a snails pace as it tends to with me). Daughter pukes in a bag - as we do. Tidy, effortless, soundless. We pretty much have it down to a science. Then it is my turn.
At this point I am like - "ok - good deal - crisis averted. Moving on."
Crisis so not over. You see the pilot gets on the loudspeaker and says,
"Well - you may have noticed that we just passed the airport..."
My little puker and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes like -
no &#@! Sherlock.
Anyway - he says there was a little problem with the wing flaps and he was going to do a back up test and we would land in 20 minutes.
We were like - ok no problem.
Then the flight attendants (that is what you call them now right?) who incidentally were
mean like snakes start fluttering about like the whole damn plane was already on fire. One of them actually looked at me and was visibly shaking and says "we are going to be fine". I was seriously like "um ok that would be good". Now I can't blame them for being mean like snakes before the crisis because every single one of them was over 45 at least, it was New Years Day and it was 8:00 in the morning. They were obviously grumpy and had been around the block a few times and could not care less how polite I was or how cute my children were. (The answer to both of those things is EXTREMELY but still - they were a no go on the smiling, polite, common courtesy thing.)
Anyway one of the flight attendants gets on the loudspeaker and her voice is shaking and here is what she said (more or less):
"Well - um - ok - it looks like we are going to have a crash landing so I am going to read you the emergency procedures. Please look at your BRACE positions on the emergency procedures card." (Then she proceeds to start to read the entire card in a shaky, somewhat stuttering voice.)
Halfway through the speech she says (and I SWEAR I am not making this up) "Now - you guys don't start to freak out. I have to read this to you in case of an emergency."
Husband turns around at this point and we share that look in the eye. You know the look - the one where you are quickly making a decision to take the feverish baby to the hospital or you are trying to read each others minds at a school function to find the quickest way out or the one where you hear the scream in the middle of the night that is so loud that you run into each other at the foot of the bed. You know - the "I am sure that we are going to be fine but we probably better be on the same page at this moment" look.
Right around this moment the pilot jumps on (which I thought was pretty funny because he basically cut her off) and he explains that we are in fact coming in for a landing and that the flaps on the plane were not testing high enough or low enough or whatever they need to be to correctly slow down the plan so he has
called the fire department. Yep - called the fire department. Even the puker at this point thought this was great. Both girls were like "Yahtzee! This is finally starting to get interesting."
Anyway - he called the fire department because he is not worried about crashing but somehow the landing could stress the breaks and burn them up. He explains that it could be a bit of a bigger bump when we land or it could be nothing at all but that the entire crew was simply preparing for any eventuality.
Husband and I were like "ok - cool - no problem - this is totally doable."
(all said in a look mind you) but he does move over (he and my son were lucky ducks who had an empty seat in between them on the flight) and sort of tuck the little guy in next to him. Did I mention that at this moment my youngest had chosen to fall into a deep sleep?
The lady gets back on the loudspeaker and starts talking about how important it is that we all listen to her and also that we take NO PERSONAL ITEMS with us if we have to evacuate quickly. NONE. At this point my 12 year old looks at me and here is her look:
"UM HAIL to the no if you think I am leaving this brand new ipad mini on this airplane for one second. I will wrestle that flight attendant to the GROUND if she thinks she is getting this thing away from me."
I understand the look and explain that I don't think that we will need to do this but they are just taking precautions. I do have to say at this point I looked at the copy of "Peter Nimble and his Fantastic Eyes" that one of my third graders had given me and I was reading on the plane to make sure it was a good read aloud. I did not worry about my headphones or even my work computer but I did give a second thought to that book because I hated to lose it. I did console myself by thinking it would be a pretty awesome story to tell them until I got another copy.
Anyway - I have stretched a short period of time out as usual but the flight attendants make one more sweep. LITERALLY shaking like a leaf. They got on the loudspeaker and made sure that none of us had on high heels or had our glasses out so we wouldn't get stabbed. Once again I was like "um ok - that doesn't sound good".
All of use were quiet and calm. I mean really - what do you say? The girl next to me did say, "well this is getting exciting" and I just kept telling my girls what a fun New Years Day story we were going to have to tell and that it was all going to be fine.
Then bump, bump (it was at this point that I said in my head, "ok Father God - I know that you have this under control here but if it is all the same with you I would love to not wreck this plane today - K?")
I do have to admit that as soon as we were on the ground I thought - "ok phew - it would be pretty cool if we burst into flames or something now" but then rethought that and was quite pleased when all was normal. We did get to see the firefighters and were SO not the only ones with the neat little puke bags on the way out but other than that - all good.
We all clapped when we landed and then as we taxied in the flight attendants were walking up and down still all melodramatic asking us all if we were ok. I wanted to say "you know honestly - I would have been better if we could have stayed calm in the tense situation but you know - whatever - thanks for the story" but then I didn't.
Husband and I were talking on the way home and I said that surely they give them some kind of training about what do do in a crisis situation and I would think that a nice introductory chapter on "Don't completely freak out an entire plane full of people if it is not necessary" would be a good place to start.
But then again - what do I know....
Here is to a New Year! As usual I am sure it will be an interesting one.
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 3:22 PM
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 6:18 PM
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 3:48 PM
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Here is the lovely thing about this little blog. I am able to look back on it and remember times of my life. I have written before about the seasons of my life and as I move from season to season how my life changes.
In deference to this and to the fact that I want to remember days like today I am going to write down what I did today. Now this is not a contest. I get it. We are all busy. You are probably busier than me. I am also not complaining. I just want to remember days like this.
5:45 - up and at em - shower, take dogs out, send out 16 soccer emails for the soccer club that I help out with (you know - in my spare time).
6:45 - wake up hormonal 6th grader with a hurt knee - pack lunches, feed dogs, so on and so forth
7:30 - leave with grouchy middle schooler
7:38 - drop off now weepy and apologetic middle schooler (The funny thing about this is that I did and said NOTHING to initiate this. I literally said/did nothing during the grouchy portion of the morning - just powered through. Somehow this triggered apologetic tears and a long speech about how much she loves me.)
7:39 - quick moment of combined joy and anger management therapy while banging head against steering wheel while waiting to leave the parking lot.
7:43 - arrive at my school
7:43 - 3:00 - general Elementary School business. It was a fun day because my class earned a pajama day so I was rocking an oversized shirt of husbands, yoga pants and very fuzzy blue, glittery slippers borrowed from the middle schooler.
3:00 - after what can only be described as a harrowing experience with 17 third graders and 17 ipads I hustled my class next door to my friends class so that I could rush off to the doctors office for a physical.
3:15 - literally jog into doctors office just in the nick of time - spend majority of appointment talking to doctor (who is our family doctor) about middle schooler's knee. As for me I am amazingly hanging in there and I am somehow not falling apart.
3:45 - blood drawn - hooray she types sarcastically
4:00 - HOME - cleaning, backpack checking, dog walking time (The dogs incidentally are the whiniest people about this whole Mom working full time thing), dinner prep, send husband and middle schooler off to soccer.
6:00 - head up to kids elementary school for literacy night, go to book fair, see wonderful teachers that I love and appreciate, listen to a great story with my baby in my lap and my third grader holding my hand (pretty much the best moment of my day)
6:55 - quite literally run out of said elementary school
6:56 - stop for first grader who has landed on the concrete like a ton of bricks clutching his pencil and lego sticker book
6:56 still - send third grader running back into school to fetch another lollipop as original lollipop was crushed in the fall
6:59 - make it home - run kids into the house
7:00 - speeding to middle school
7:08 - literally (again) job into middle school
7:12 - sit in chair in front of first middle school conference text husband - "I made it"
7:15 - first of 4 conferences - the middle schooler might be an emotional basket case right now but the kid's a total brainiac and I really do appreciate that.
7:55 - scour book fair with awesome librarian looking for books for middle schooler
8:10 - HOME - bedtime routines, review spelling words, get a splinter out of poor first graders leg, general end of day duties including angry passive aggressive guinea pigs who were fed their treats late and "excited to see me" dogs.
9:11 - heat up black bean chicken dinner - hooray - food - totally forgot about that and man am I hungry!
9:27 - middle schooler shows up in my room to talk about the day - hooray
9:50 - pull out computer, finally turn on episode one of Parenthood that I have literally been trying for days to watch in approximately 7 minute intervals.
and that - my friends - is that.
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 7:39 PM