For YEARS I have been sharing funny and personal moments about my family on this blog. I even have a blog before this that was private and DARLING and I have so many precious memories from. One of these days I am going to use one of those print my blog applications and have an incredible keepsake.
That said - my kids are 14, 11 and 9 now and we are entering a new phase of our life. I have started and stopped SO.MANY.POSTS. I do have so many stories to share - funny and horrifying and things I have learned and things I want to tell you to try and things I want you to NEVER.EVER.DO but you know what? I am the Coach. Husband and I need to be on our absolute A game for the next 9 years and no successful coach in their right mind would ever release inside stories and details of plays that they are running while they are playing the game.
My oldest found this blog and has read it cover to cover. I would LOVE to share teenage stories with you but also - I need her to feel safe. I need her to know that each and every conversation that she and I have is not going to turn into a blog post.
There is also no WAY that I am going to release victory details on battles that been waged in this house to the next two soon to be teenage warriors who are warming up for the fight. Sorry folks - I love you more than my luggage but I seriously can't do that.
Now the nice thing for me is that this has never been a big blog and the folks that read this are my actual friends so ya'll - seriously - anytime - come and pull up a chair, pour a glass of wine and let's swap stories. I get some of my best stuff from other people and I really do want to share. I just won't share online.
That said - I have been asked on MULTIPLE occasions what our internet rules are so here goes - they are pretty simple:
1. We have all of their passwords. If you want to go on social media - great. We have access - to everything. We are also smart enough to know that they are probably trying out some new secret social media thing as we speak. It's alright - bring it on - keeps us on our toes. ;)
Now right here in typing this I am actually putting myself in some danger because I happen to know for a fact that A LOT of my childrens' friends do not have this policy. If you are one of those parents PLEASE - I am really begging you here - PLEASE do not go to your teenage child and say "well Oldest Bowheads Childs' Parents have her passwords".
(I do love ya'll so here is the one and only thing I will say - your children have "rinstas" and "finstas" and snaprants and GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE. I am telling you - they have accounts that you don't know about and what they post there is really quite unbelievable.)
ok - I cannot say another word about that - on to rule number 2
2. All devices are turned in at 9:30. Period. End of story. We did learn from this lesson because the charging station USED to be downstairs in common area of the house. The charging station now lives in my room. By my bed. Lesson learned.....
3. We respect the family. Period - this family is a safe place. No picture is to go anywhere without permission. No story to be shared. No ranting - period. end of story. This goes for adults (read - me - Husband is not on social media) and kids alike.
4. We have implemented time limits and parental controls and we do use Circle by Disney. That is a whole other post so I will type that up and post next.
5. The last internet rule is a parent rule - we have vowed basically to never say never. We will not say "oh my child would never...." I would never...." "That could never happen to us...." because we have already learned - they will, we might, and it probably already has......
My final point is that all of this has caused some BIG fights but also some VERY amazing teachable moments.
Our mantra has been from the beginning to your children:
You are precious. You are the MOST IMPORTANT THING that we will ever ever do. We make you get shots and go to the dentist and finish your homework and eat your broccoli. We don't get to be the good guys and we are totally down with that. We completely own our bad guy role.
We would never let you eat nothing but cupcakes (and we really like cupcakes). We would never let you sit around and only watch TV (and we like TV). We won't let you have unlimited time online (and we like online).
It is our job to parent you and there is no way on God's big, green earth that we would ever let you loose on the big, bad internet without doing our damndest to parent you through it. Sorry - know that you are loved and know that we are trying our very best to do right by you.
It would be SOOOOOO much easier to just sit around at night and eat bon bons and watch TV and eat fast food and not have to talk to any of them but you know what - we aren't taking the easy way out.
How will it turn out?
I really don't know but I will tell you - we won't go down without fighting.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 6:28 AM
Saturday, December 5, 2015
The last time I "wrote" on the blog was December 15th, 2014. That post was actually a post that I had written years before and copied and pasted.
I like to write ya'll - I really do and I miss the blog but I am not going to lie to you - I am in the weeds.
Since this will mostly be read by my Facebook friends who already know me I don't have to go into too many details but I am a fourth grade teacher and the proud parent of a 3rd grader, 5th grader, and 8th grader. That basically means that I get to have 29 children on my mind - pretty much all of the time. I love love love my life but it is not easy right now.
We are happy. We are healthy but I am here to tell you - it is not easy right now.
I really started keeping a blog when my third child was born. Having three kids under the age of 4 will do something to you people - I kid you not. I started the blog because I wanted to remember. I started the blog quite frankly because - well - solidarity my sisters and brothers. Parenting is NOT easy. There are times that it is terrifying and times that it is so joyous that you cannot believe your luck. There are times when your heart is shattering into millions of pieces and times of love so profound I will not even try to write about it here. The truth of the matter is though - most of the time - you are pretty much just slogging through and only someone who is right there in the muck with you slogging through day after day can really understand. Telling our stories keeps us sane. Hearing the advice of those who have pioneered before me gives us guidance. Guiding those with littler ones behind us gives us purpose. The stories of parenthood should be shared and for a while there I was doing a really good job sharing mine.
Then I started sucking at the sharing.
You see - when they are babies and you are slogging it out there are moments of boredom so intense that you literally might pull your eyeballs out just to add a highlight to your day. The monotony and the repetition of when they are young is rough - I mean rough - serious solidarity to those of you are going through it now but also you find yourself still quite a bit. I distinctly remember that I would often volunteer to be the sleeping bear in their pretend play so that dozing off on the floor was an option in between bouts of having to come alive and growl at giggling little ones.
I loved those years. I do sometimes miss those years but when I am with someone with a little tiny one I mostly think - "Lordy I am glad I don't have to do that again." (This is the point in the blog where you do not see my husband and I knocking on wood and vowing to not touch each other for a week just in case I could have possibly just jinxed us with that statement.) but hey - let's face it - we are starting to grey a little bit around the edges around here and honestly - that is just fine with us.
OK Holly - back on point - I was saying - in the little years you did actually have time to blog because they did nap and they went to bed at 7 and good grief did those kids like the Teletubbies so - blogging was an option. I also got to stay home from the time my youngest was born until the time he went off to Kindergarten so my entire focus was them and my house and you really do just need moments to talk like a grown up even if it is just to type.
Now I get to teach. I love to teach. I am good at teaching. I love having colleagues and a purpose. I love being in a classroom but there are just not enough hours in the day.
I also get to parent a teenager which is one of the reasons that I decided to start writing again. Sanity check time here people. I actually said the words the other day to my husband "I have never wanted to bitch slap someone more in my life than I do that child of mind." That sweet angel child who had the curly hair and the chubby cheeks is now a full blown 14 year old girl.
Sweet Jesus take the wheel.
I just can't.
Oh but wait - you are telling me not only now have I gotten these three children this far - alive and functioning in society, I have managed to get myself back into a classroom and situated in a school that loves me and intends to keep me but also I have to PARENT MY ASS OFF for the next 10 years?
Yep - time for me to start blogging again.
Solidarity my sisters and brothers.
More from me tomorrow.
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 7:31 PM
Monday, December 15, 2014
You know that second grader in the above story from 2012? Well she is now a fourth grader and I have never had a We Believe conversation with her because guess what - she BELIEVES. Without question - without concern - if a kid on a playground were to tell her something other than what she believes I think she would probably tell them to go fly a kite. She believes without reservation, question or concern. Her second grade brother of course just follows along blindly. It will be interesting to continue to share this post year after year and add to it with each child's experiences.
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 3:53 PM
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 10:07 AM
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 2:23 PM
Sunday, November 23, 2014
So tonight I read this article while husband was driving us home from a basketball tournament and I thought to my self - "self - I really relate to that". You see when she says "But for the longest time, it all seemed so endless. It seemed like I’d always have kids up my ass. It felt like I’d be wiping faces and fannies and driving people all over creation forever. And now, just like that, I don’t."
I thought - you know - one day - one day too soon. I just won't.
When I moan and complain - people love that. They tell me that they worry about me and I should slow down. My favorite is always when people tell me that we should do less.....
I just want to say
um - you do see that there are THREE of them - yes?
Three times a dentist - that's a lot.
Three times a pediatrician - that's a lot.
Three times any sort of activity - that's a lot.
Do you see where I am going with this? Don't even get me started on my friends with four kids. I really don't know how they do it except the thing is - I kind of do.
You see - I did the math and you know what - in 5 years my kids will be 17,15, and 13. The baby will not need me to tie his shoes or ask me to watch the Wild Kratts with him. My middle daughter will no longer want me to build legos with her or ask me to look at books with her in the library. My middle schooler will no longer be a pain in the butt. (Well - here's hoping and of course I jest but those of you with middle school age children know that I only jest - just a little bit)
Three is a lot but also three is so awesome. I.WOULD.NOT.CHANGE.A.THING.
I am rambling at this point and you know what - I am a little rusty at this whole blogging thing because (and I am sure that my two readers plus my mother have noticed) I have not been blogging. There are days where I LITERALLY do not stop all day long. When on earth would I blog?
Well you know what - that is all going to change. Who cares if I am a terrible blogger. Who cares if I jot something down that doesn't make sense. It will help me remember this crazy time in my life nad I want that because I am telling you - I am lucky and happy and just because I am busy those facts simply do not change.
I also understand that this time, like the time when they were babies and would fall asleep with their fists in the air in victory or when they were toddlers and would pop up and laugh and say "HERE MY ARE", or the times when they were preschoolers and you would eat your lunch of cheese its and grapes and watch a show like Dinosaur Train and then take a nap, or..... do you see? It is all fleeting.
For posterity's sake - here is what my week and weekend looked like:
oh man - one thing at a time - no way I feel like typing all of that up - let's just take the win (I wrote a blog post) and set the alarm because 5:30 tomorrow is going to come nice and early......
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 7:07 PM
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
***Last night I went in to kiss him as he slept - the last night that a 7 year old would be asleep in my house. His brown little boy hand, tanned from the sun and scratched from his adventures was wrapped around Chubby the Bear. His chest rose and fell and his little face was so peaceful and my heart broke and grew all in the same moment. Birthdays kill me and the baby is the hardest.***
Posted by iheartbowheads.blogspot.com at 2:01 PM