Project Mammaview - Kate's Interview

Let me start this one off by saying - I heart Kate (my friend who turned in the interview first) and I am so happy to have her be the first submission.

So without further ado - the first Mommaview!

The Mommaview

Created by Holly Oelkers

To be used for the blog http://iheartbowheads.blogspot.com

Email answers back to hollyo1@mac.com

Your name:

Kate G.

Your occupation:

Full time homemaker

Tell us about it:

I feel like anything I say about being a stay at home mom would be a cliché. Some days have really rewarding moments. Other days I fall into bed and know that maybe I wasn’t at my best, but we all lived and grew together another day and will hopefully wake up tomorrow with another chance.

Your occupation in a previous (before kids) life:

I have a part A and part B. Part A is that before kids, I was a full time marketing/PR person for the Dance & Theatre department at a state University and a contract Stage Manager at a downtown professional theatre. Part B is that since kids, I have also owned my own home business, and only recently have come to terms with letting it go.

Tell us about it:

I loved being in the Arts and using different parts of my personality from administration & organization to graphic design and creative marketing ideas, leading student employees, calling technical cues. It was a lot of hours, not a lot of pay, zero upward mobility, and will never be compatible with my being a parent, but I miss working with really smart and creative people and developing projects from start to finish.

I also loved what I learned from being an entrepreneur and working in a community of positive women, gaining personal and professional development, and becoming an expert in a new field. The money was good and it was nice to be able to bring some income into the household so that I didn’t have to justify every stop at Chick-fil-A to my husband. I had his full support, so the business was a great reason to be able to take occasional trips and regular nights out without the kids, and it showed me how much he believed in me. It made me feel successful as a person. Because the potential income was unlimited, it let us dream as a family and set big goals. Even though I’m not actively working it as a business anymore, many of those goals have come true in other ways, and I believe it was setting those intentions in the first place that let it happen. Never before did I think I would be able to afford to be a full time, permanent, stay at home mom, but now I am.

Your education:

Bachelor’s Degree in Arts Management.

How many kids do you have?

3, ages 2-6

Tell us about them:

My oldest is a boy, going into first grade, my middle is a girl, 4 ½, and she will go to part time preschool in the fall. My youngest is a 2 year old boy, and unlike his siblings before him, he will be attending 2 year old preschool. I’ve had toddlers for 6 years straight and momma needs a daytime break! My two oldest have areas of giftedness, which is a blessing, but presents additional parenting challenges.

Do you wish you:

I’m exactly where I feel like I should be. I do wish that I had what it takes to continue to be a home entrepreneur, but I’m glad I did it when I was younger and had more energy and fewer children. Now I want to focus on what I’m teaching and modeling for my kids and be a better mom and wife than I have been. I know that other women can handle more children and/or jobs in addition to their children, but I am at my max with three kids and a husband. Probably in over my head, to be honest. J

Where did you meet most of your friends?

I still have my two long distance besties from high school. The rest are a mix from all different points of my life, but I meet my “mom friends” at my kids’ preschool, church, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and ECPTA (Early Childhood PTA.)

Do you feel that Mom friends are important?

YES!! Because if I didn’t know that what I/my kids were going through was “normal” then I would be really worried about every phase and mishap and “down” day.

Are those friends primarily working or stay at home?

SAH

Now that you have answered those questions – why do you think that is?

We can relate to each other and share stories.

What is the most hurtful thing another Mom has said or done to you.

I felt a lot of judgment about my choice to work a home business-- That I was imposing on people or that I had gotten sucked into a pyramid scheme. I grew to realize that they were either ignorant of the industry, had had a previous bad experience, or just had their own issues with being able to say, “Good for you, but no thank you/now’s not a good time for me.” It still hurt, especially things that were said behind my back. I’m still defensive, especially now that I’m not actively working it, because they weren’t right, I did love it and I’m still glad I did it.

Is there something that has been said in the media or by other Moms that makes you crazy?

I have personally found a huge difference between parenting one child, parenting two children, and parenting three children. So it drives me bonkers when someone with less children than me has specific “advice” for me on how to handle something. Unless I’ve sought it out.

What is the best part about your situation?

Being the “expert” on my own children. I don’t mean that I’m an expert parent. I mean that I know what they like, what they are up to, what triggers their fears or anger, and witness each new development. My husband will tell me a new word the baby just said, and I’ll smile, because he’s said it to me already. I like having the final say over what they are exposed to at this point in their little lives. Now as the oldest goes into public school, I know I will have less and less control over that.

What is the worst part about your situation?

I’m nervous as my husband’s job is beginning to require International travel, and I really depend on his in-person contributions to the family on the evenings and weekends. I love him being a present and really involved dad and I don’t want the lifestyle where the kids & I get used to him being gone. It’s also just plain tough to have a toddler, especially one on top of another, and now with other children that still need my attention. I wouldn’t change it, but I am looking forward to everyone being just a little older, a little more independent, and finally being done with diapers.

If you could change one thing (but NOT how much money you have – most of us wish we had more money) what would it be?

I grew up in a small private church school, even for high school. That particular scenario doesn’t exist for my children in this day & part of the country. If it were a problem that money alone could solve, I would find a way to make it happen, but it’s not an available option for my kids and so I’m taking it one year at a time, starting with public school for my oldest next year, and trusting that all will work out for their good.

Can you think of anything else that you would like for us to know about you or this subject?

Role of grandparents as full-time caregivers and/or co-parents? Not my situation, but something I see somewhat frequently and am curious about. Live-in grandparents, “childcare” at grandparents’ house and/or grandparents doing all the carpooling, etc. How that makes it easier or harder to go to work; if them in that role is a preference, a necessity, or something that just evolved. (Maybe that is a separate topic for another day, or it will organically surface within the above questions for those who have that situation.)