My long-time-coming political rant - politics and children

Well - I gotta admit - we here at I Heart Bowheads (that would be me) don't really get terribly riled about stuff. Not a lot of drama. Not a lot of controversy. We (once again me - not sure why I feel the need to explain that) tend to keep it pretty light.

I do have the occasional rant in me and here it goes..........

This is not a rant telling you what to believe.

It is not a rant telling you what party to belong to or what issue you should back.

I will not even be expressing my own political beliefs in this post.

What I am going to rant about is........

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!!!!!

Back when I was in my Kindergarten classroom, I would do an election every year. I would talk about the three branches of government, the two major political parties and the election process as a whole. I would always send a note home explaining this to the parents in my classroom as well as assuring them that no political opinions were going to be presented to the class. Only an explanation of the process.

This would often spark a lot of political dialogue with my Kindergartners. This was especially true if it was an election year. As my own children got older, they started to ask questions about the process. My husband and I have been very careful to simply explain the process and what both sides believe. We do not tell our children who we each vote for and there are many times that my husband and I are on the same side of an issue or party aisle but I have to be honest - we are also often on opposite sides and we have talked about that.

That is the bleeping (scuse my language - you can tell that I am starting to get worked up - I am even typing faster;) BEAUTY of America.

The debate

The checks and balances

I encourage you to disagree

I encourage you to vote your own choice and then if you don't win - lobby, talk, picket if you want to to get re-elected next time but for heavens sake.....

BE RESPECTFUL OF THE OFFICE WHILE YOU ARE DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

No joke - no exaggeration - here are some of the things that children either in my classroom or in my home have asked me.

Mrs. Bowhead- what's a communist? Cuz my Daddy says (such and such political character) is one of those?

Mrs. Bowhead - what's a moron? Cuz my Mommy says (such and such political character) is a big one.

Mommy Mommy - My friend (insert friend's name here) says that if (such and such political character) becomes president he is going to take all of our money!!!!!!!!!!!!! We need money - right? What are we going to do if he takes all of our money?

Mrs. Bowhead - why does (such and such political character) not love everyone? Why do they only love the rich people?

Well my Daddy says that we don't have to listen to him and I don't have to watch his speech on television that is telling me to stay in school and work hard.

REALLY????????????????????

Now I could go on and on with the quotes but I believe you get my point. I would also like to remind you before you go getting yourself all riled up that my quotes also go back ten years which (if you will remember) spans both political parties in power.

Like I said - this is not telling you what to believe. This is not telling you what to feel strongly about. This post is telling you what I feel strongly about and you know what I feel strongly about? Do you? Do you? (Can you tell I am typing fast again? Frank the pug is sitting here next to me watching me with some fascination wondering what is happening with the flying fingers but anyway - I digress.......)

Teach your children to respect the system.

Teach your children to respect the OFFICE.

How can you not teach your children to respect the OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? You do not have to like the man. You do not have to support the party but respect the office. Respect the process.

Use words like.....

Disagree

Feel strongly about

Let's write a letter to our congressman

Please do not use words like

Moron

Idiot

Dumb as a box of rocks

Remember - your children are listening to you. They are watching you and hate and dis-respect can be learned in the most unlikely of places.

They are standing at your feet in the church hall when you are chatting quietly with your neighbor.

They are playing on the floor of the kitchen while you are on the phone.

They are in the other room while you are cussing (I mean loudly disagreeing) with the TV.

Teach them to debate. Teach them to become involved. Please do not teach them to hate the other side.

The other side, in my humble opinion is what makes the country so great. Because we get to have an other side.......

So - I have not had time to blog because I have been way to busy.....

Making snowballs

And watching tv in front of a fire.

I have been skiing with my family,

And making the children do chores in their rollerblades.

I have been hanging out with family and friends,

And getting my children geared up for the outdoors.

I got to watch them have some fun firsts,


And take lots of pictures with my phone which seems to be the only camera I normally have handy.

I get to watch lots of basketball,

And bundle up against the cold.

I have had a lot of help along the way, ( here my constant companion is "helping" me clean the kitchen)

And it seems like I am often dealing with Frank.

I get to watch lots of indoor soccer,

And I am obsessively reorganizing my house.

I got to hang out in airports,

And have lots of priceless moment like these....


We refuse to be concerned about the cold,

And we are very grateful for each and every blessing.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone on the fly!!!! ;)

A holiday wrap up

We survived waking up Christmas day, opening presents and then heading to the airport to fly the 4 hours to Texas, jump in a rental car, and be at Grandma's for Christmas dinner at 6.

I know what you are thinking.

It was actually very fun and we all survived.

It was a fun adventure - just the 5 of us - laughing and heading through the airport on Christmas day.

We enjoyed the entire trip and can officially say that we survived.

We are home now and I am not sure that my house will.

There comes a moment when you just have to sit among the piles and let them know that they have beaten you. Then maybe tomorrow when the piles have let their guard down you can sneak up on them - not sure if this is going to work but I am trying it out for today.

We got the new Wii U Draw going down in the basement.

I am not sure that we will ever see my artistic 7 year old again. Ever.

I did laundry for two days straight at my Mom's house and yet somehow I have been doing laundry all day. Maybe I need to try out my pile philosophy on the laundry.

It is a really strange thing to be happy to go home only to be really happy to be back home.

I love my house.

I love my children.

I love my husband.

I need for all of them to leave me alone with my house for a little while so I can try and restore some order.

I would be lying if I did not admit that I am looking forward to that being on the agenda for tomorrow.

Then they can come back because I am amazingly not even sick of them.

Frank the pug and the guinea pigs were off in Kato Kaelin land (because really - you just can't have a better houseguest than a guinea pig or a pug). Two awesome families kept them for us and we really appreciate it. We are all happy to have been reunited. My friend Julie brought me the piggies today in the midst of one of my battles with the piles instead of having us over to pick them up.

Did I mention the appreciation?

Anyway,

Our low tonight is going to be 7.

It was 71 yesterday in Texas.

I wonder what my body will think of that.

I feel very grateful for

well

for everything

I am grateful for my family and my friends and that you can read books on your phone.

Did I mention that we flew back home from Texas to Massachusetts yesterday and that our plane was supposed to leave at 1:10 and we finally left on a different plane at 4?

Glad the second one worked at least.

I swear that my house looks like it did when we moved.

I refuse to be discouraged.

I keep coming back to the piles.

Forget the piles - I am going to play games with my family.

I am pretty sure that my New Years Resolution will be to put my house back in order.

I might have that finished by 2013.

Right?

A Little Timeline

So here is a little timeline of the last year here at the Bowheads household (ya'll do know that our actual last name is not Bowheads - right? One day I need to tell the Baylor Bowhead story - any hoo - that is another post for another day - and the only "I digress" in this whole blog post which I believe is a new Bowheads blog record but anyway......)

Week before Thanksgiving 2010: Husband to wife:

"so Babe, what do you think about Massachusetts?"

Company flies husband to Georgia to interview. Company offers husband job. Husband says,

"Well - can I go look at Massachusetts?"

First week of December: Husband gone in Massachusetts. Husband accepts job. Birthday party weekend, Christmas festivities, Husband and wife farm kids out and fly to MA for a 24 hour whirlwind shopping trip. We find the little yellow house which is it's own little story and place a contingency offer on it on the way to the airport after having only been in it for 10 minutes.

Week after Christmas: Install beautiful new granite counters in Texas house and get ready to sell. (One day I will actually have granite counter tops in a house that I am going to live in - until then - at least I know how nice they are for short periods of time;)

January 5: Husband begins work in Massachusetts. Wife remains in Texas with three children and house on the market.

February: 28 days - 4 of them with Daddy.

Mommy is starting to appreciate Daddy more.

March: Still on the market. Husband still flying back and forth between states. Kids are not in any sports or activities because we have no idea when we are moving.

Mommy is starting to get a little bit closer to the edge.

April: A decision is made that no matter what we are moving April 15th and then basically right after we make that decision we get a very low offer on the house. Very low.

We take the offer

April 15th: Move entire family to Massachusetts

May 21st: First houseguests arrive

Memorial Day Weekend: Head to Cape Cod for soccer tournament. Pretty much loved being able to say - "so what are you doing for the holiday weekend? Oh we are headed to the Cape."

June: Discover importance of window air conditioning units. More house guests arrive.

July: Fourth of July camping, trip to New Hampshire, birthday party weekend

August: Oldest gets pneumonia, more house guests arrive, 2 weeks in Disney with Grandma, Hurricane Irene, school starts

September: Trip to Texas for Sister in Laws wedding, birthday party weekend, all team sports start up, soccer tournament in New Hampshire, Applefest

October: House guest, sports all in full swing, Houseguest, massive freak snowstorm that shuts down the town for days, Halloween is rescheduled

November: Recover from massive freak snow storm and losing power for 4 days, Halloween and Thanksgiving

December: Birthday party weekend, husband traveling, stomach virus, husband traveling, heading back to Texas - flying on Christmas Day and New Years Day.

I am grateful for this wild and crazy year and all that we have learned and experienced but my secret wish for 2012.......

To Be Bored

We will just have to wait and see.....................

We Believe.......

First off before I even get going on Santa and the elf on the shelf and what not I have got to say that first and foremost here is what I believe:

I believe in God, the Father almighty,

creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the Virgin Mary,

suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, died, and was buried;

he descended to the dead.

On the third day he rose again;

he ascended into heaven,

he is seated at the right hand of the Father,

and he will come again to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic church,

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and the life everlasting.

AMEN.

I also believe in

Magic

I believe in the spirit of this season. I believe in the imaginations of children and you know what else?

I Heart Santa

I really do. I think he is kind and giving and jolly and I 100 percent believe in the magic of Santa.

Now I am going to talk about something that I hope no young eyes will read because this blog is not intended for young eyes. It is really intended for the eyes of people who have been tasked with the care of the young and I believe that this is a really timely topic.

This house believes first and foremost in the reason for this Season. We talk a lot about Jesus and the manger and all of the true meanings of Christmas. We talk about how lucky we are and all that God has given us.

We also believe in Santa.

We just don't really oversell Santa.

You won't find an elf on the shelf in this house. I just can't pull it off. You also won't hear my husband or I say to the children,

"Now you better be good or Santa won't come."

Just not going to happen. Once again - I just can't pull it off.

Last year - my then 9 year old - came to me and said,

"I need the truth Mommy - does Santa really come down the chimney and leave presents?"

Here is what I said:

Baby girl,

How are you getting so big so fast? I am your Mom and it is my job to lay it all out straight for you so here goes.

I love Christmas. I love this magical season. I believe that Mary and Joseph went and put a little baby in a manger that was sent to save us all. The bible tells me the story and I have Faith that allows me to believe.

Santa is the same way. Tomorrow we can go to the library and check out books on the legend of Saint Nick. I believe that magical things happen this time of year and I never ever want you to forget it. I always, always, always want you to believe in magic.

"Yes Mommy but how does he fit down the Chimney? I don't understand how that is possible?"

Do you really think that a big guy comes down our chimney and puts all the presents there or do you think that Mommy and Daddy help with that?

"I think you help"

Yes - we help

"Where do you hide everything?" How do you get it all wrapped?"

You know what Ladybug? That is the most amazing secret and one day you will find out about it also. The most amazing thing about being a Mommy is that you get to create magic all the time. Now I get to have a secret Mommy workshop and make magical things happen. I get to work hard to see smiles on your faces on Christmas morning and it is the most precious gift that I have ever been given.

I love being a magic maker. One of the best parts of being a Mom - hands down.

She smiled and kissed me and went to bed happy. She asked me a couple of questions (in my ear of course we talked about the importance of keeping the secret to ourselves) about my Mommy magic and then

much like magic

The discussion was gone. There were no tears. There was no "why did you lie to me drama" just finished.

What is even funnier - it is "that which we will never speak of again."

She is all about magic and Santa and believing and says that the friends in her class that are "bah humbug" as she calls it are missing it. It is like we answered her logistical questions but allowed her the space to imagine and dream.

So yes my friends - we believe and I am loving every minute of it!

The Birth Story - 10 years later - that has never been told on the Bowheads blog

So - my only excuse (that I can think of at the moment) is she is a December baby and December is a crazy month? Anyway - I went back to find the birth story for my oldest daughter (as I know I have published the younger two's birth stories a couple of times) and realized that I have never posted it here!

*******Post Warning - you know I usually digress - a lot? Well this whole post is basically one big digression so hang on to your hat and try to keep up because I am all over the place with this one!**************

(How is that strategy to keep you reading working? There is probably some blog guru somewhere having a terrible flutter at their typewriter as I continue to break lots of blog rules and suggestions)

Anyhoo

We must start with a little back story. Husband and I were married in March of 2000. Our Pastor provided us with some wondeful marriage counseling. One of the things that he advised us was to wait one year before we started having kids.

(There is no real way to tell this story without including birth control details so - with apologies.....)

I was on the pill and stopped taking it in March of 2001.

I promptly contracted the Chicken Pox - yes the Chicken Pox.

What is worse is that we did not know right away that I had the Chicken Pox because we thought that maybe my body (this is why you should go to the dr and not self diagnose) was freaking out with hormones or something from stopping the pill

(I look back on this and I really can't believe it but anyway) so long story short - I had a raging fever and was very sick before I went to the doctor and we figured it out.

Now - where does this fit in with her birth story you ask? Well - all of this happened in March. We were going to San Antonio to celebrate our first wedding anniversary and it was on that vacation that we were going to "start trying". I do remember asking the doctor about the Chicken Pox and trying to have a baby - I was told once the pox were gone - I was good to go AND that it was a real blessing that I got the pox when I did and not after I was pregnant. Off we go to San Antonio and had a wonderful time.

We come back and I decide that I need to find a good OB/Gyn. I pretty much went in and talked to the girl at the front desk and told her that I needed someone who would be very calm with me and answer all of my questions and put up with my idiosyncrasies and would never ever in any way be mean to me. The girl was like "ok - I have the perfect doctor for you."

Turns out he totally was because he wound up delivering all three of my babies!

Anyway - off I go to the doctor and at the time I was a shy pee-er - you know - had a hard time going on command (now 10 years and 3 babies later - let me assure you - no longer a problem)

but once again I digress.....because I could not go in the cup - I talked to Dr Greve about what to do in order to help me get pregnant, we talked about starting folic acid then - you know - the pre pregnancy stuff.

FINALLY I go in the cup and I have my little "so you want to get pregnant bag of goodies" and was ready to walk out the door.

Denise (Dr. Greve's nurse whom I still love and see to this day) came out of the bathroom and said,

"Holly - you are never going to believe this!"

Yes - I was pregnant - I had been off the pill for about 2 seconds, and had the chicken pox and bam - pregnant. I just kept saying, "no way no WAY!" Then I turned to Dr. Greve and said,

"wow that was some pill!"

Of course I could not wait to tell husband so I called him at work. He knew I was at the appointment to find the OB and I just said,

"Guess what - I was going to think of some clever cute way to tell you this but I really can't think at all right now - I am pregnant!"

He said,

"Man Babe - when you decide to do something - you really don't mess around, do you?"

It was cute - while I was on the phone with him in the doctor's office the nurse just quietly came up and took the "so you want to get pregnant" bag out of my hand and put the "congratulations you are pregnant" bag in it, grinned, gave me a thumbs up, and walked out.

We were of course thrilled - my Mom guessed the second I called her and I think that Husband called his parents that night.


Now in order to break up this incredibly long story - I am inserting a few pics of her as a baby.

Hit the milk a little too hard this time

She loved our dogs! Sniff Logan and Lewis - miss them.

Bring in the Fire Chief!

Food - Good! (You can see the Ladybug Curl Mohawk starting here)

Baby girl driving the car - she was pretty little in this one

That was her sticker from Gymboree class on her head - she was being silly.

Now moving on to her actual birthday. I am convinced that her due date was December 8th. For whatever reason - we had her due date as December 2nd. I really did not know any better and I just thought that on December 2nd - she would just come. I was patient and never even dreamed of having her until December 2nd but when December 2nd came and she was still not here - I was VERY ready to have that baby!

I fell twice while pregnant with my ladybug - once hooking up a horse trailer and once on the bleachers at Scott's indoor soccer game - both times - I was basically perfectly fine. Couldn't knock that baby out of me with a baseball bat.

I pretty much kept trucking with her without even thinking about it - I did gain quite a bit of weight (45 pounds) so I was good and chubby.

Anyway - I remember - I was working at the auto auction and I was mad at one of my car dealers and I went stomping out on the lot to find a car and bring it in. One of the guys that worked on the lot hopped on a golf cart and tried to get me to get in - I refused - so he followed me slowly creeping behind the little round angry pregnant woman who could have gone into labor at any moment - all the way out to the back lot.

I stopped working on December 2nd - it was my due date (although I still say not the right one but anyway) and I felt I should stop working that day. I kept getting calls - "hey where are you? I need some numbers..." (auto auction talk). I kept saying I am about to have a baby!!!!!!!

We induced her on December 7th - which - in retrospect - I actually wished that we had waited. I think that we made her come earlier than she was ready but hindsight is of course - 20/20.

We went to the hospital at 6:00 in the morning and they started the inducing process.

Here is how the next part goes:

Nurse: Are you allergic to any medications?

Me: Nope

Nurse: ok I am going to give you penicillin in your iv

Me: Great

Fastforward 5 minutes

"Honey - my tongue feelth kinda funny...."

as my whole face was swelling up.

Nurse: "ok you are allergic to penicillin - don't ever take that again

Me: "otay" (ok in really fat tongue speak)

The day went on and on and on and on and finally at 9:15 that night - I was able to start pushing - an hour and a half later - she finally came into this world. At one point in the middle of the pushing - I actually fell asleep - yep - asleep - just for a second mind you. Husband thought that was hysterical.

Now I have to admit for the sake of telling the story accurately - she was so wonderful and I was so happy to see her but the whole experience was so different than with my younger two children. I was so traumatized and so tired and so unsure - it was so new and I look back on that time and wish that I had enjoyed it more which I know sounds crazy. I cried and cried after they took her to the nursery and I just remember feeling so so so tired. I tell this because I want to try and remember what the experience was like and that was a part of it.

The positives - she was so perfect - so beautiful - so tiny! She was 7 pounds 3 ounces when she was born and we brought her home to our warm Christmasy house. I remember just looking at her and thinking that I could not believe what we had created. I remember holding her so tight and feeling like she and I were on a journey together - partners - lost and found together. With her brother and sister - the journey was different - I was already the Mommy - I knew more and I was much more solid in that role.

With her

it was just

all firsts

I wouldn't change a thing

(except for maybe the penicillin thing - it does not feel good to have your face swell up like that)

but anyway

I digress.........

Channeling my inner Michelle Duggar

So this is a post about me -

Not The Duggars

I realize that the Duggars can be a topic of conversation and that people have many opinions on them. For the purposes of this post I am not going to hop up on my soapbox. Because you see - I could really hop up on my

To each his own

Live and let live

They have a story to tell let them tell it

Soapbox

But I won't.

Love them or hate them - you gotta admit that Michelle Duggar has a certain parenting style. She has this sweet little voice and she never raises it.

Now I am also a BIG believer in the fact that the children (and really your husband) should know not only that you have an edge but also that you can be driven pretty close to it at any given time. They should really all fear that - just a little bit - in the back of their heads.

I do think that shouting is like crying - the more you do it - the more you want to do it. I think that stands for both children and adults.

As my children have reached the ripe old ages of 9,7, and 5 - I have found myself using more of a grown up voice with them. You know - an irritated, cross, slightly raised, grown up kind of voice.

Guess what - they started getting cross right back and before I knew it - the children and I were shouting at each other.

So I knew that I was the one to fix it and I started to channel my inner Michelle Duggar. Now I already have a couple of voices in my bag of tricks.

I have my stern Kindergarten teacher voice.

"Oh MY friends - are you making good choices?"

I have my slightly high, a little hysterical, get young children to do things voice.

"Okgoodjoblet'sgohurrayhurraywowyouaredoingsogreatlet'sgoyoucandoit!"

I also have my Grandma from the bronx voice.

"Oh I am very disappointed." (Picture a coffee talk kind of accent)

Well - I decided I needed to add another voice. I told myself:

"Self - you gotta reach down inside of you and find that sweet voice even when you feel like shouting

ICANNOTBELIEVETHATYOUWOULDDOTHATHOWCANYOUPOSSIBLYBETHATINSIPID?"

So I added a voice and it is called my inner Michelle Duggar. It is a very sweet and calm voice and I actually have to tell myself (inside my head of course - don't want to get committed or anything with all the "hey selfs")

"Self - you can do this - no matter what - you use a calm and sweet voice."

Well GUESS WHAT?

It totally works - totally. I have actually seen my 9 year old stop herself before she gets upset and channel her inner Michelle Duggar even though she doesn't realize that is what she is doing. It almost always takes the heat out of a room when I drench it with a nice cool Michelle Duggar voice and you want to know the best part? The very best part?

If you are trying to channel your inner Michelle Duggar but you are having trouble hanging onto it so it is Michelle Duggar that is a little bit close to the edge. You know Michelle Duggar a little bit strained?

The children will feel just a tiny bit afraid that this time they might have pushed it a little too far and maybe this time they broke the Mommy.

And really - nobody wants that.

;)